I choose LOVE!

Mastering the Art of loving people in-spite of. I choose LOVE!

Genuinely forgiving and loving people in-spite of what they may have done to you is the greatest thing you can do for yourself. I'm like each and everyone one of you. I'm human; if you cut me I'll bleed... I feel emotions and I've had countless disappointment. Over time I let that bitterness build up inside of me and it began to control me. Uncontrollably began to dictate my every emotion and I allowed anger and rage to live in my heart.  Bitterness will consume your thoughts and emotions. It will take over you, and you will start to feel like everyone is out to hurt you. Weeding out that poisonous root of un-forgiveness and bitterness was one of the best things I could have ever done for my own happiness. Not to say I am perfect, because I am miraculously flawed in many ways. However, I have chosen to make a lifestyle out of genuinely loving those who have "TRIED MY LIFE" as I would say. Or in other words, tried to dismantle me in any way they possibly could. I’m sure many people have been hurt by a friend, significant other or even a deadbeat parent but we should all be making an effort to be at peace with everyone. Yes, even those who have despite-fully used us and caused so much pain and agony along with sleepless nights. In Philippians 4:5 we are commanded, "Let your gentleness be known to all men." I want to be at peace, not with most people, or with some, but with all of them.

We have all heard the "Golden Rule" a million times. Yet, we can treat people better than we treat ourselves and they can still hurt us. Sometimes we don't know why people do things to us to tear us down and betray us. Truth is, we may never find out. It is easy to get mad when people use and abuse us. It is even easier talk down on them then warn everybody in the city that "they're no good" Let's be real, we've all done it. My question is what satisfaction do we get from that? We feel good because we got that pain off of our chest, we told somebody!!!! O.K. But at the end of the day that pain is still there. That pain that builds up to bitterness and resentment and after while it gets out of control. The control is simply within us, we control how we respond to our situations. Do you realize when we vindicate negative behaviors we are showing malicious ill will to hurt someone because they hurt us. We seek revenge and that is why so many people have lost their lives because they want to GET EVEN. It takes a mature person to understand that forgiveness is not the end of the world. It does not mean we are a punk or sensitive. It shows real maturity and proves that we can let things be and keep pressing forward. Saying that you forgive someone, just isn’t enough. Anyone can say they forgive someone but acting upon it is the key to true forgiveness. We live in a world where people are going to hurt us regardless if we do everything perfect or not. That's just the way it is. Yet, people are searching for that apology that they never got. Guess what, we probably won't ever get. I've had friends stab me in the back and yes it hurts because you never image the people closest to you would treat you so dirty but I’ve learned how to deal with it, embrace it and love them in-spite of. Continuously I keep pressing towards the mark of mastering the art of loving people in-spite of. Learning how to love people takes time but if you are genuine, it is time well spent. There are so many other things in life to be concerned with then holding bitterness in our hearts because someone hurt us. Life is too short to be wasting it being upset about something we cannot control. Do yourself a favor, choose love it is so much easier. Let’s not forget that Jesus washed his disciples’ feet. Loving difficult people is more than a good idea. It is God’s example.  Treat people the way you want to be treated. We have all needed to be forgiven at some point; so don’t try to write off your wrong doings. Set an example of loving grace for everyone to see. Challenge yourself to step up to a higher level of love and avoid the pits of bitterness, spite and maliciousness. Take action and make it a lifestyle.

Until next time J

“The art of love is largely the art of persistence.”
— Albert Ellis

"You demonstrate love by giving it unconditionally to yourself. And as you do, you attract others into your life who are able to love you without conditions" 
Paul Ferrini 

I love me, I remind myself everyday. I have taught myself how to genuinely love me in spite of all my imperfections. I love everything about myself. I was stitched perfectly and created with purpose, divine purpose that only continues to linger out and manifest everyday that I breathe. One thing about loving yourself unconditionally is that no one can ever take that self love away from you. When you truly love you first, without any limitations you begin to realize how powerful loving you really is. As devastating as it is, there are many people who don't know how to love themselves. Ha, those same people reach out to other confused souls and anticipate genuine love to help them find self love. Well, that is not exactly how it works. Which is why so many troubled relationships that were started on a lie, ultimately end with the truth exposed leaving everything out in the open. No matter how hard you try to hide the flaw of insecurity and lack of self love, with anyone you get involved with those flaws begin to reveal unexpectedly, and now someone knows who you really are. No matter who that someone is, a friend or a significant other they have been exposed.  People tend to shy away from people that they perceive to have too many issues. Truth is, we all have issues but some people know how to deal with them better than others.  Oh yea, so you think you can wash your hands from the filth and keep living a lie and bring your insecure habits into another situation, and you continue the trend until it gets old, or until you're all alone. Sorry to burst the bubble, wherever you go, those same problems go with you until you master the art of dealing with them. One thing that kills me is that people try cover up their issues more than they lay them out on the table. Why is that? Because life is so much easier when no one knows the "REAL YOU" and all your blemishes and bruises are covered up. Learning how to unmask those when the time is right will dismiss so many issues in your life.  The thing is, no one can love you if you don't love yourself enough to be willing to unmask the things that make you uniquely you. No matter how terrible you think your life is, you have to be mindful that someone else out there is going through a much worse situation than you. I remind myself of that daily. Sometimes we get so caught up in ourselves and we begin to exaggerate our flaws and failures and ascribe defects to our lives that often times don't exist. I have found throughout my young life that when you reveal the truth to the right people they linger to you. Once you develop those people in your life, putting on a face full of make up is the wrong thing to do. As hard as it may be to reveal those things, the better you feel when you do. Once you truly realize that you can't change who you are and God made no mistakes when creating you it is easier to accept . You begin to realize that self love is more important than anything else. Have you ever been around someone who was just so confident in themselves and they are so accepting of their flaws and failures. Wow! Those individuals inspire me, I am sure they inspire you as well in some way or another. Truth is, we all have flaws and we have all failed countless times. Embracing and loving the unchangeable things about yourself will only force other to love and accept you for you. If they don't, then so be it. Life still goes on honey. With acceptance we begin to strengthen our character and improve our emotional maturity.You cannot continue to struggle against loving and revealing the real you and simmer with negativity and low self-esteem it is weighing you and others around you down more than you know. Indeed, I challenge you to do something out of the ordinary and just experience what it feels like to feel peace and contentment over your life. I promise you wont regret it.

Continue to stay blessed, I'm praying for you.

"Of all the judgments we pass in life, none is more important than the judgment we pass on ourselves." - Nathaniel Branden