Battle #1

Hello Friends,

I want to begin by apologizing for my lack of consistency. I haven’t posted a in a while and I am steering away from excuses in this season of my life. Nevertheless, I made a commitment to be persistent with blogging and I will hold myself responsible and accountable to this commitment from here on out.

Battle #1

Have you ever felt lost, alone and afraid all at the same time? It is a petrifying feeling to say the least.  There was a time in my life where I had been in a very dark place. I felt alone, discouraged, confused and unaware. God has a way of throwing us curve balls in times that we least expect it. I think that it is his way of proving to us that he is and will always remain in control. Charles R. Swindoll once said “Life is 10% of what happens to you and 90% of how you react to it.” During this unclear time in my life, I felt like my mind has been so off focused. I felt like reactions were taking control of my life and had stolen my attention away from the important things. In a way I think that God was testing me and I continued to fail week after week. I didn't understand why I couldn't pass the small test in my life. It’s so ironic that during this time my prayers got shorter, my daily devotions and reading his word was not as often and I felt empty and I started to become content with that emptiness. I said that I wanted to surrender wholeheartedly but I was only giving 50%.  Once I realized I was steering in a direction of pleasing my flesh I really started to condemn myself. I have a tendency to get caught up in pleasing other people.  I have a big heart for meeting other’s expectations that I lose focus on meeting the expectations of the one who matters most, God. I began to seek guidance and direction because I started to wonder if I am making the right decisions and following the path that God has for me. Often times I found myself comparing my life to others around me. I seen how God was blessing them in ways that he has yet to bless me. My mind started to wonder, when will it be my turn? My reaction appeared to be happy but deep down I was battling with something far greater. I realized I needed to do something different in order for me to achieve a better outcome. I didn't want to live my life lost, alone, and comparing any longer.

Fortunately, it wasn't long before I got back involved with reading and devoting my time accordingly. After while, I started to understand that everybody has a season and right now it is just not my season. It took a while to genuinely accept that reality. After months of self-discipline, prayer and determination to have a pure and content heart, I felt free.  I took control of the thing that was controlling me.  I decided not to allow my mind to compare, and react in a jealous manner. I felt like I was waiting on God to reveal something to me, but in all actuality God was really waiting on me. If I do what God expects me to do, he will give me the very desires of my heart and much more.

 This battle has been mind-altering for me because it has been one of my greatest struggles. Learning how to be content with the things I may not always understand, and gracefully reacting the way God would expect me to react. Lately, I have been trying to master the art of my reactions so that I automatically react to the series of events in my life in a positive way. I have also accepted the challenge to not compare myself and my situations to those around me but to truly have a heart of acceptance and happiness for the blessings God has given them. Even though the things that I have encountered in my life have led me to believe that God has forgotten about me, I know that in his word, Deuteronomy 31:6 he promised to never leave me or forsake me. As I continue to embark on this journey I know that things may not go how I plan, but as long as I trust in him my path will be made clear.

Someone reading this might feel like they are at a gloomy point in their life, like you might have reached the end of the road and you have no idea what to do. Maybe your situation is smaller than mine and your struggle is totally different. Whatever it is that you are going through I encourage you to lean on God through this time in your life, draw closer to him and cast you cares upon him because he cares for you.

Stay Encouraged